Child Actors and Unspoken Stress:  The Perils of Focusing on One Family Member’s Career

Every day I wake up, knowing that I will be juggling mommy hood, woman hood, wife hood and business affairs.  Like most families, we find a way to make it work.  Adding the layer of being an actor and a mommy to working actors makes life…interesting, to say the least!  What happens when our children exhibit signs of stress or exhaustion?  How do we recognize these signs and what should we do about it?

I have always been a fan of having my children have casual conversations with trusted relatives.  Auntie can ask, “How’s it going, balancing school and auditions?” and get a truthful answer.  A child therapist can also assist.  It never hurts to “check in” with your child, to see that they are driven by passion and not obligation.

As parents, we may not be aware of all of the pressures that child actors feel.

YES. They have scripts to memorize, often on short notice.

YES. They have to juggle school and acting.

YES.  They may not be able to play on their school’s athletic teams.

But have you thought about the rest?

Are their earnings responsible for the family rent?

Do their career ambitions split up the family for months at a time?

Would they feel like a disappointment if they decided to stop acting?

Do they have to audition for parts that they are not comfortable with, just hoping for a paycheck?

Do they feel guilty about the attention they receive?

These situations are very real for many families, and right or wrong, they need to be addressed.

How have I addressed potential issues with my family?

• We are all based in Los Angeles and live together.  Both my husband and I are self employed.
• We do not mix finances.  The children know where their money is and when it is necessary to use it (PR, agent’s fees, etc.)
• They are not responsible for any family expenses, but ARE responsible for items that they desire that are outside of the family budget.
• We go out of the way to book out for vacations, to prove to them that we can have a NORMAL life.
• We discuss all auditions before they are confirmed.  We have passed on MANY!
• We continuously involve them in new activities, not to increase acting opportunities, but to increase life experiences.

And finally, we are prepared for the day that they decide to change their desires…..as hard as it may be for us to accept, it is our obligation as a parents to LISTEN to our little actors…..our children.

What have you done to decrease stress for your child actor?